Has sheltering at home made you irritable with the man you love?

The reasons, and 5 things you can say to rekindle the flame--from relationship coach and author

Have these times of staying at home to protect from COVID-19 made you feel irritable with the man you love?  Do you feel more critical of him, dissatisfied with your relationship and less interested in sex?  If so, you may think it’s perfectly normal: after all, lives have been disrupted and nobody likes being cooped up.

But is that true?  And should you simply wait for businesses to fully reopen in the hopes that the situation will turn around on its own?

Relationship coach GS Youngblood, author The Masculine in Relationshipsays that lockdown might simply be exacerbating existing issues. And that chances are, the reason you feel disgruntled is that you are longing for your man to:
  • Be decisive rather than abdicating decisions to you or saying he has no preference.
  • Take initiatives such as helping her organize the process of planning household tasks, meal preparations and vacations (if you’re taking one this year).
  • Help reduce the stress in your life by organizing the information that drives decisions and orienting the two of you or the family toward a goal-- then moving things forward.
  • Create safety by doing what it takes to help you feel physically, financially, and emotionally taken care of.  (This does NOT mean he has to be rich!)
  • Respond choicefully rather than reacting to your behavior so he can stay present for your emotions.

Unfortunately, GS explains, with #ToxicMasculinity a real problem, men have forgotten how to do many of these things -- which entails leading from their masculine core. They’ve become passive, and afraid to take risks.

But even strong, capable and successful women still deeply desire to let go and relax into the presence of a conscious, grounded man. If you can’t let go, you’ll get frustrated. You’ll notice more of his flaws and become critical. You’ll lose interest in sex. But in truth, you’re just expressing the pain of the man you love not stepping up.

Explaining in a calm, open-hearted conversation that you long for him to take the steps above and then giving him positive reinforcement when he does will help transform his behavior and rekindle the flame.


GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman, is a coach who helps men in relationships learn to live, love, and lead from their Masculine core.  He specializes in “nice guys” who want to find their personal power.  His teachings combine deep embodiment work with the framework of the Masculine blueprint from the book.  His work is based on 12 years as a student and creator in men’s work and authentic relating.  He also draws on principles from psychology, the martial arts, tango, meditation, and BDSM.  Learn more at gsyoungblood.com.

Reception to the book has been phenomenal.  Both from men (“You just described my married life to perfection...” and “This is the best book I’ve EVER read on masculinity in a relationship”) and women (“I just picked up your book off my coffee table that my husband bought and it's like you've been listening to me talk for the last few years! Insane how much you get it.”)